Father's Day - Feeling OK When Dad's Not Around or You're Not With Your Kids

Father's Day UK falls on Sunday, June 15th, a day dedicated to celebrating the role of fathers and father figures in our lives. While many people enjoy the joyous moments and gifts this day brings, for others, it can stir up complicated feelings, especially if a dad is missing or if you find yourself unable to be present for your children. If you're navigating through these challenging emotions, you're not alone. Here’s how to handle Father’s Day when it's a difficult holiday for you.

Acknowledge Your Feelings on Father's Day

Whether you're missing your dad on father's day or feeling the weight of not being with your children, it’s vital to recognize and accept those emotions. Ignoring your grief, guilt or emotions, can make it harder to cope. Take some time to think about what this day means to you. You could write down your feelings, talk to someone you trust, or enjoy some quiet moments to reflect.

For example, if you're yearning for your dad on father's day, remember a smile-inducing moment you shared together and allow yourself to think about it, notice the feelings and emotions, identify those and name them (that helps us to work through them appropriately). On the other hand, if you're grappling with not being with your children, remind yourself that it's okay to feel this way. Planning to reconnect with your kids or reach out for support can turn these feelings into hopeful actions.

Don't bottle up the emotions and let them out. Feeling emotions and letting them out is as natural as having a pee. It is our bodies way of letting us know we need to get something out of us.

Redefine the Celebration

Father’s Day can be unique for everyone. If you feel distant from a father figure or experience a void in your role as a dad, think about how you might rework the day's celebration. Traditional gifts and gatherings are not the only way to honor this day.

Consider spending time volunteering for a local charity that aligns with values your father held dear. Activities like organising food drives or aiding youth programs can both honor his memory and contribute to your community. Alternatively, celebrate the impact you can have as a mentor or friend by reflecting on how you can make a positive difference in the lives of children in your orbit.

A heartfelt memory book dedicated to a loved one.

Create Your Own Traditions

Establishing new traditions can be a fulfilling way to cope with your feelings surrounding Father’s Day. This could be as simple as turning June 15th into a "Self-Care Day," focusing on activities that bring you joy, whether that’s hiking, cooking a favorite meal, or enjoying a good book.

You could also create new family routines, like having a picnic in a park your dad frequented or visiting a place that holds special memories. If you're a parent, involving your kids in these new traditions can strengthen your bond. Share why this day is meaningful and ask for their ideas on how to celebrate. For instance, your child might suggest making a family scrapbook or cooking a meal that reminds you of your dad.

Reach Out for Support

You do not have to go through this day by yourself. Isolating is a coping mechanism but isn't always a healthy option. Consider meeting up with friends, family, or support groups. Engaging with those who understand your feelings can provide comfort and ideas for coping.

Support can come in various ways, such as sharing stories, discussing your emotions, or simply enjoying each other's company. For example, joining a local support group can not only help you feel less isolated but also offer insights on how to handle the day better.

Focus on Positive Relationships

If there’s someone in your life who can fulfill or is willing to take on a father figure's role, whether it’s a grandparent, uncle, or close family friend, consider putting energy into nurturing that relationship. Father’s Day is a perfect time to express gratitude to these supportive figures. For example, you might write them a heartfelt note or treat them to lunch as a token of appreciation.

If you’re a dad feeling the strain of absence, use this day to think of ways to reconnect with your children. Small gestures can make a big difference, such as sending a text to say you’re thinking of them, planning a day out in the future, or simply starting a heartfelt conversation. Making fathers day cakes for yourself and making positive plans for the future can help visualise things will change.

Embrace the Power of Reflection

Use this day as a chance to contemplate the lessons learned from your father or the future you envision for your children. Journaling can be a powerful form of self-reflection. Write down qualities you admired in your dad and how you want to integrate those into your own parenting.

Consider what values you wish to instill in your children. For instance, if work-life balance was a challenge for your dad, reflect on ways to prioritize family time moving forward. This day can act as a motivating factor for personal development and reinforcing important relationships.

Father's Day

Moving Forward with Hope

Father's Day can evoke a whirlwind of emotions, especially for those not marking the day in the usual fashion. Whether you are dealing with the absence of a father figure or contemplating your role as a dad, it's crucial to honor your feelings. Remember, it’s okay to redefine Father’s Day in a way that suits you.

Create new traditions, connect with people who make you feel supported, and take time to think about what truly matters. By doing so, you can find moments of peace and create meaning, even when emotions run high. Celebrate not just the fathers in your life but also the resilience in overcoming challenges and forging lasting memories in whatever form they take.

If you want to fins out what support it available and get help to deal with Father's Day reach out and see how we can help here Meet the Team