How does couples counselling work? Questions and Answers to Help You Decide.

Derek Flint - BSc : Dip. Couns. : PNCPS - Acc.
5 days ago
4 min read

How does couples counselling work?

Q: What actually happens in a couples counselling session?

A: Most sessions involve both partners sitting down with a trained therapist to talk through what’s not working and what you both want to change. The counsellor facilitates the conversation so you’re not talking over each other or stuck in the same loop. They help you focus on patterns rather than blame.

Think of them as a neutral third party who keeps things calm and productive. They will help you understand how does couples counselling work. It is common to find communication has become challenging so working on this and being able to say what you are thinking as well as listening to what is being said can really help improve situations.

Q: Do we always attend sessions together?

A: Usually yes, but many counsellors offer individual sessions as well. These can help you explore personal matters you may not yet feel like talking about in front of your partner, or past experiences that affect the relationship now. Sessions together are where you work on communication, agreements and shared goals. Attending together can encourage openness. Sometimes it may be necessary to have online or hybrid sessions and this can be discussed and arranged with your therapist.

Q: What can we expect in the first session?

A: The first session is usually about building trust, rapport and communication. Gaining insight about what is happening and how you got to that point. The therapist may ask about your relationship history, recent challenges and what you want out of counselling. It’s also a chance to see if the therapist is a good fit. You don’t need to prepare a speech, just be honest about why you’re there.

How does relationship counselling work?

Q: Is relationship counselling the same as couples counselling?

A: They overlap, but relationship counselling can apply to any relationship dynamic, not just romantic partners. People might seek help for family issues, friendships, co-parenting or business partnerships. The focus stays on healthy communication and rebuilding trust, regardless of the type of relationship.

Q: What methods do counsellors use?

A: Many draw from evidence-based approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman-based methods, or systemic therapy. You don’t have to study these ahead of time. The therapist explains tools as you go, like how to de-escalate arguments or make requests instead of complaints. Some therapists may use an integrative model

Does counselling help

Q: Is counselling actually effective or just a last-ditch effort?

A: Counselling helps many couples reconnect, communicate better and understand each other on a deeper level. It’s not magic and it doesn’t “fix” things by itself, but it gives you structure, skills and accountability. Couples who go earlier rather than waiting until things collapse tend to get the best results.

Q: What if things don’t improve?

A: Sometimes counselling helps couples find clarity and separate with less conflict. It’s still a form of support. The goal is not always to save the relationship at any cost but to help both people find a healthy path forward.

How much does relationship counselling cost

We understand paying for counselling can be difficult. In order to make sessions accessible, our therapists may offer some reduced fee sessions. If you feel you would benefit from this please do discuss it with us so we can help you work through the challenges going on. Each therapist has their fees on their profile.

Q: What’s the price range for relationship counselling?

A: Costs vary depending on the therapist’s experience, location and session length. Private relationship counselling often starts around the same rates as individual therapy. Some counsellors offer sliding-scale options or shorter sessions to keep things accessible.

Q: Is it covered by insurance?

A: Coverage depends on your provider and country. Some policies pay for individual mental health sessions but not joint sessions, so it’s worth checking the details before you start.

Q: Do couples sessions cost more than individual therapy?

A: They can, mainly because therapists often spend extra time planning sessions and working with more complex dynamics. You’re paying for the therapist’s time and training, not just the hour in the room. Generally they may be slightly longer also compared to 1-2-1 sessions.

Q: Is it worth the investment?

A: Many couples say yes, especially if conflict is hurting their wellbeing or family life. A few sessions can help you break negative habits that might otherwise drag on for years. It is a personal choice, but sometimes not resolving relationship problems can be more costly in the long run.