How Does Couples Counselling Work? Insights and Answers for You

Derek Flint - BSc : Dip. Couns. : PNCPS - Acc.
Nov 21, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Dec 18, 2025

Understanding Couples Counselling

Q: What actually happens in a couples counselling session?

A: In most sessions, both partners sit down with a trained therapist. You’ll discuss what’s not working and what you want to change. The counsellor facilitates the conversation. This way, you won’t talk over each other or get stuck in the same loop. They help you focus on patterns rather than blame.

Think of them as a neutral third party who keeps things calm and productive. They will help you understand how couples counselling works. It’s common for communication to become challenging. Working on this can help you express your thoughts and listen to each other. This can significantly improve your situation.

The Importance of Attending Sessions Together

Q: Do we always attend sessions together?

A: Usually, yes. However, many counsellors offer individual sessions as well. These can help you explore personal matters you may not feel ready to discuss in front of your partner. They can also address past experiences that affect your relationship now. Sessions together focus on communication, agreements, and shared goals. Attending together encourages openness. Sometimes, it may be necessary to have online or hybrid sessions. You can discuss and arrange this with your therapist.

The First Session: What to Expect

Q: What can we expect in the first session?

A: The first session is about building trust, rapport, and communication. You’ll gain insight into what’s happening and how you got to this point. The therapist may ask about your relationship history, recent challenges, and what you want from counselling. It’s also a chance to see if the therapist is a good fit for you. You don’t need to prepare a speech; just be honest about why you’re there.

How Does Relationship Counselling Work?

Q: Is relationship counselling the same as couples counselling?

A: They overlap, but relationship counselling can apply to any relationship dynamic, not just romantic partners. People might seek help for family issues, friendships, co-parenting, or business partnerships. The focus remains on healthy communication and rebuilding trust, regardless of the type of relationship.

Q: What methods do counsellors use?

A: Many therapists draw from evidence-based approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman-based methods, or systemic therapy. You don’t have to study these ahead of time. The therapist explains tools as you go, like how to de-escalate arguments or make requests instead of complaints. Some therapists may use an integrative model.

Does Counselling Help?

Q: Is counselling actually effective or just a last-ditch effort?

A: Counselling helps many couples reconnect, communicate better, and understand each other on a deeper level. It’s not magic, and it doesn’t “fix” things by itself. However, it provides structure, skills, and accountability. Couples who seek help earlier, rather than waiting until things collapse, tend to see the best results.

Q: What if things don’t improve?

A: Sometimes, counselling helps couples find clarity and separate with less conflict. It’s still a form of support. The goal isn’t always to save the relationship at any cost but to help both people find a healthy path forward.

How Much Does Relationship Counselling Cost?

We understand that paying for counselling can be difficult. To make sessions accessible, our therapists may offer some reduced-fee sessions. If you feel you would benefit from this, please discuss it with us. We want to help you work through the challenges you’re facing. Each therapist has their fees listed on their profile.

Q: What’s the price range for relationship counselling?

A: Costs vary depending on the therapist’s experience, location, and session length. Private relationship counselling often starts around the same rates as individual therapy. Some counsellors offer sliding-scale options or shorter sessions to keep things accessible.

Q: Is it covered by insurance?

A: Coverage depends on your provider and country. Some policies pay for individual mental health sessions but not joint sessions. It’s worth checking the details before you start.

Q: Do couples sessions cost more than individual therapy?

A: They can, mainly because therapists often spend extra time planning sessions and working with more complex dynamics. You’re paying for the therapist’s time and training, not just the hour in the room. Generally, couples sessions may be slightly longer compared to one-on-one sessions.

Q: Is it worth the investment?

A: Many couples say yes, especially if conflict is hurting their wellbeing or family life. A few sessions can help you break negative habits that might otherwise drag on for years. It’s a personal choice, but sometimes not resolving relationship problems can be more costly in the long run.